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Just a few items of entertainment. First a video. This was meant to be a test of a new piece of software, but inevitably I did the test while describing a favorite cookie.
On a more serious note – Richard has been busy with his project promoting small business collaboration. For example with this article and video.
The rain is absolutely amazing today – a deluge. The brook in town is flooding.
Ruth travels tomorrow for a visit with friends in Florida for a brief rest before some surgery.
Meanwhile, Kate readies herself for the onslaught at the Apple Store of people that will no doubt come in mobs to get their Apple i-pad when released in a few weeks.
Hard to believe that it has been 28 years since I taught a year long course at Haverhill High School called, Introduction to Psychology. When you repeat certain class activities for a few years, they tend to really stick in your mind. I remember one unit that included a comparison of various schools of thought on therapy. To help clarify the distinctions, I played some tape recordings (reel to reel !) of different therapists in action.
I was reminded of all this when I read a blog post that featured Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of the rational-emotive school of psychology. I’ll never forget the recording of a sample therapy session in which Dr. Ellis was the counselor. As I remember, he was talking with a guy who was quite depressed. At one point, Dr. Ellis says something like:
That’s right, you’re a schmuk! Do you know why you are a schmuk? Because you think you are a schmuk. You believe you are a schmuk. You gotta stop telling yourself you are a schmuk or you’re always gonna be a schmuk!
It always made me laugh. He was just so darned blunt. About as opposite to Carl Rogers in technique as you can get!
Anyway, the blog post I was referring to is called, How Self-Talk Changes Moods by Dr. Tony Fiore. In the post, he talks a bit about Dr. Ellis and then about the things (triggers) that cause people to be angry. He goes on to say that really it isn’t the trigger, it’s our belief about the trigger that directs our mood toward anger or toward a different emotion. He then goes on to say:
I am this type of psychologist and try to teach my local therapy clients that we as human beings should take responsibility for how we interpret and deal with the world because the only alternative is to try and change the world. Sometimes we can change parts of it, but most of the time a better strategy is to develop skills to deal with it more effectively.
Well, it’s true isn’t it? I find that I want many things to be different, but that’s not going to happen very often, so what’s my choice? Change my thinking.
I can’t help wonder, do some people have an easier time changing their thoughts than others? If so why?
I had never heard of Boxing Day growing up in the United States. I learned about it after I was married! But I don’t think I really knew much about it.
How do we know it’s Christmas season? The tree is up in the living room (since November 30). The outdoor lights are shining on our bushes.
The family advent calendar that Ruth made for 1971 is on the wall and we are on day #19. Each day this month Ben has been removing a felt decoration from it’s pocket and pinning it to the felt tree with burlap background.
There are some dozen nativity scenes around the kitchen and living room, some of clay, others of wood, paper, glass, or other materials. Christmas cards have been mailed; many more have been arriving. The elementary school presented its Christmas concert; presents have been purchased and many have been wrapped. Cranberry bread mini-loaves have been baked and readied for distribution. Last Sunday afternoon, Santa rode down our street on the fire truck, distributing boxes of animal crackers.
And once again news media reports the ongoing religious-secular debate: “Don’t take Christ out of Christmas!” “Don’t impose your religion on everyone!” and so on. The debate has hit our hometown this year when one local church wanted to offer a “living nativity” on the lawn in front of its building. Unfortunately, it shares the lawn with the Town Hall; indeed, the space was donated by the church to the town years ago. Because the town owns the shared “green” the selectmen decided to “play it safe” and forbid the use of the green for the living nativity on Christmas Eve.
Town residents Ken and Ambia Smith then offered their property for the living nativity, and since the home is located part way between the several community churches, all the churches are now supporting the event.
The economy “needs” Christmas. Our home “needs” Christmas – it’s a tradition. Do you and I need Christmas? In what way?
Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most. ~Ruth Carter Stapleton
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder
People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December. ~Ogden Nash
If perfection could have been attained through the Levitical priesthood (for on the basis of it the law was given to the people), why was there still need for another priest to come—one in the order of Melchizedek, not in the order of Aaron? ~Bible; Hebrews 7:11
My brother Kenneth died following a complicated heart surgery at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston, early on November 25, 2009. He was 57 years old. He leaves behind Martha Goutal, his beloved wife of 32 years, and three children- Abigail (30), Elizabeth (27) and Timothy (19) along with many family members and friends.
>> Click Here to See Some Photos of Kenn as a Child and as an Adult <<
He was the son of André and Beatrice Goutal and lived in Scarsdale, NY until he was 2 years old when the family moved to a 5 acre property in Walpole, MA with an old falling apart house and barn. This was to be the dream home of the Goutals and they set about remodeling at once. But one year later, everything changed. It was the summer of the national polio epidemic, just before large scale vaccinations, and our mother contracted the disease and died within a few days (August 10, 1955). This not only devastated our 54 year old father, but each of us children- Kenn who was only 3, myself -Richard- who was 9, and our big sister Paulette who was not quite 16.
Dad was a regional sales representative for Revlon and was expected to be traveling regularly to visit distributors. In order for him to work, a succession of relatives and various hired live-in housekeepers managed “the children.” It was not a good time for the kids, and work on the property was no longer a grand plan for Dad, but a burden. This led to a move to a smaller but modern house in nearby Westwood during the summer of 1957 when Kenn was 5 and just entering school.
During that school year, unknown to us kids, Dad had been proposing marriage to a Revlon colleague, Bernice Reed Bowen. On February 19, 1958 they were married. It was Dad’s intention to make “all things new and better” so it was arranged for Bernice to adopt Kenn (and myself) so that we would ever after refer to her as “Mom” and not “step-mom.” For years afterward there was no further mention of Beatrice. Bernice stepped into the role of Mom at 46 years old with no previous experience and did a pretty good job of it.
But the chaos at home during Kenn’s formative years made transition to the normal life our parents desired very difficult. At the time, I was not aware how difficult it was for Kenn. Being 6 years older, my focus was all about the wonders of junior high school, while Kenn was struggling to find himself in Grade 1. Mom found it easier to deal with me, but Kenn’s difficulties and undiagnosed sensitivities overwhelmed her capabilities. She showered us with gifts and fun activities, but she was pretty much no-nonsense when it came to behavior. Neither my father nor mother knew how to fill the void in Kenn.
During these years, though there was an age difference, I remember most the play times with Kenn. This included model railroading; we combined his American Flyer set with my Lionel set and built our “dream layout.” It included running around the backyard and the woods across the street playing cops and robbers or cowboys with neighborhood friends. It included family trips to Williamsburg and to visit Mom’s family in Randolph, New York.
Mom came into our home and brought a more committed level of religion and faith than our father had. This led to life-long conflicts between the two of them. It also led to completely different experiences for both Kenn and myself. I guess my 14 year old mind was able to sort the mind-boggling input of Biblical ideas into sensible compartments without much emotion or sensibility… so much so that I was ready to take on Dad as my first mission-field after I “accepted Christ as my Savior” through the religious activities that Mom brought into my life. Kenn was much younger and inputs such as that which he received from me or a Christian camp he attended resulted in mental confusion and a mix of scary emotions that stayed with him for many years. I think Kenn analyzed all of this in his later adult years found his ownreal level of faith.
I think of Kenn as a person of many interests and an abiding curiosity.
In high school, Kenn found a source of both new ideas and friends that came from association with the audio-visual club. I also remember that his life-long fascination for calligraphy and writing poetry began in high school. He had a very wide and odd assortment of reading interests. Consider for example that he memorized sections of Hamlet and also read Asey Mayo mysteries written in the 1920s about a Cape Cod sleuth. (OK, I enjoyed Asey Mayo too!)
Beginning then and throughout life, Kenn had many interests which he pursued in meticulous ways. He taught himself to play the guitar and he wrote songs. He liked certain forms of gaming and learned all he could about, for example, D&D. His choice of books and movies included humor, mystery, fantasy, ideas, and science fiction. He thought a lot about how these interests impacted and changed him. He even catalogued these thoughts on a web page he called simply “Influences.”
Like Kenn, my interest in model railroading stemmed from my childhood. But where I dabbled in it once in a while, preferring the larger (O-gauge and HO-gauge) trains with a clear connection to my youth, Kenn got serious about it after 1984 by building trains, joining model railroading clubs, and even creating many N-Gauge hobbyist web pages.
My interest in trains is strong but general and nostalgic; Kenn’s was detailed and focused. He could describe the workings of a particular Budd engine or the rail routes used by a now defunct New England regional freight railroad. He always had some good railroading tales and information to stoke my nostalgia. I always wanted to go on a long distance train ride with him; that is one of the things cut off forever.
I also think of Kenn as unconventional, but that is probably just my jaded point of view.
I graduated from college and chose a known field with a clear path to entry- public school teaching. Kenn took courses from Gordon College and from the University of Massachusetts, spent a lot of time learning state of the art tech information in the computer center at both schools, and left to find employment in a variety of geek niches that I still don’t understand. Today everyone has a computer (well, more or less). But Kenn was doing computers when it was unconventional. He was doing the internet when it was still in it’s infancy as ARPAnet, Telenet, and whatall else. I never even heard of it until the start of “dot-coms.”
Kenn with Mystery Author Lisa Scottoline at Crimebake 2006
I started using a Mac, my first computer, in 1985, and that is all I have used; before and after that date, Kenn used a host of historic computers that I have never heard of –with assorted wintel machines last on his list. Macs have typically been a closed system and did not interest him much. Not so long ago I told him I was using the popular GoDaddy servers for hosting my sites; he said he had little use for those kinds of outfits and always stuck to mv communications, whatever that is. Like I said, Kenn didn’t rely on what’s “popular” or “conventional” – I cannot think of any one way to define what he liked, but these were factors: amusing, symmetrical, quirky, simple, utilitarian, quiet.
As a play on words, Kenn’s interest in attending conventions was unconventional. He didn’t like the huge sensory overload of hundreds of voices and the hurly burly that went with that; in fact, it could make him ill. Still he loved the information one could learn, the loose fact added to his knowledge storehouse. So he steeled himself and went anyway. He went to many model train conventions; photography conventions; just a few months back he went to a computer collector’s convention; and he went with me to a mystery writer’s convention in 2006. Spending time with Kenn that weekend at a hotel in Lowell is something I will prize for a long while. I only regret that we will never get to collaborate on a great book idea we cooked up.
I also think of Kenn as a Go-Giver.
I wrote about that last June when Kenn gave his time to a group of homeless people in Salem who wanted the help of a photographer. But Kenn was willing to help and share what he knew with anyone who asked. Hopped down to Atlanta to help our sister. Always took time to research answers to my dumb computer questions.
Kenn had strong opinions about how life worked, but the opinions were not the sort that were judgmental. In the last few years, I would often chat with him online about politics, marketing, family issues, and items of nostalgic interest to both of us. I felt comfortable confiding concerns to him.
I never heard Kenn say a negative thing about his kids. Sure, he knew they made mistakes, but that wasn’t what he ever talked about behind their backs. He was their supporter and cheerleader and I know they will miss him (along with his seriously corny jokes).
We will all miss Kenn.
It seems absolutely surreal to be talking with Kenn in the hospital about trains, family, films, and reminiscences one day– and then to have him go under surgery and die practically the next day. That and images of Kenn’s relative calm as he faced poor survival odds and Martha’s incredible 3 weeks of support to him shall remain with me for the rest of my days.
>> Click Here to See Some Photos of Kenn as a Child and as an Adult <<
Today the temperature reached an unseasonable 66° F here on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, just north of Boston, Massachusetts. Ruth stepped into the sunny yard and what did she see? Our tiny rose bush had a beautiful bloom! So there it is below with a little Christmas holly!
It had been blustery overnight, but then this little quiet. Amazing.
Two interesting rail films, both showing the Brusio viaduct spiral turn on the Bernina Express in Switzerland. As recounted in a previous post, this describes a portion of the trip that the SWERJK girls took just last October 3 (09). The really fun part is the fabulous outdoor garden train that recreates the Bernina Express (2nd film). Enjoy!
On Saturday October 3, we followed some of my favorite train routes including a significant part of the Glacier Express.
After a good breakfast at our Tirano hotel, we crossed the street to board the little red train to take us up through the spectacular Bernina Mountain Pass. We had the whole 1st class car to ourselves and we jumped from one side to the other, taking photos from the open windows. It was a joyous ride!
Wendy and Judy with cameras! || Under the avalanche protection shed, over the chasm || Shary and Ruth with cameras!
So joyous that when we changed trains at Pontresina shortly after 10 am, I mistakenly left behind an envelope that contained all of our paid reservations for the next ride (the Glacier Express) along with Kate’s and my Eurail Pass! What a sinking feeling!
After our next 6 minute ride to Samedan, I jumped off and ran to the stationmaster’s office to explain my problems, while the rest of the girls waited trackside for our next train. He got on the phone right away to try to locate my envelope, but our next train arrived within minutes. He instructed me to run and board the train and explain the problem to the Train Chief. As I got to the train, the girls had already been explaining our predicament. After listening, he invited us to wait in a 2nd class car while he worked on the problem. A short time later he returned to say that our envelope had been found on the other train, and that he would now escort us to our seats on the Glacier Express! In addition, Swiss Rail would try to have our papers for us at the Interlaken station for us to pick up on Sunday. Martin, the Train Chief, was my new best friend!
We greatly enjoyed the meal and the scenery on the Glacier Express after we settled down from our little scare. At first the narrow gauge train follows by a delightful sparkling river. Our 4 hour portion of the Glacier express began in Chur (elev = nearly 2000 ft) and 2 hours later reached our highest point at Oberalppass (elev = 6700 ft) and then descended to Brig where we got off to head north to Spiez. In Spiez we enjoyed the beautiful overlook of Lake Thun before changing trains again to Interlaken and then to Lauterbrunen where we arrived at 6:30. It was a day of 7 different trains and bridges, tunnels, lakes, rivers, and vistas beyond imagination. Just awesome.
Above the tree line, Kate looks out the window || Lunch on board the Glacier Express || Typical view: Alpine lake and glacier up behind
We settled into the Valley Hostel in Lauterbrunen, and then went out for a quick meal. While strolling afterward, we could hear Swiss cow bells ringing all around – - and then we came upon a barn where they were shearing sheep. It was amazing how quickly each sheep was shorn. After watching a while, we walked on in the fresh and cool mountain air, and then back to the hostel to sleep.
Day 14 – Hiking and Cable Cars
After breakfast, Shary and Wendy hiked up behind Staubbach Falls which drops over a sheer cliff, seemingly into the village. They continued to hike for a long while along the valley floor which they greatly enjoyed.
Meanwhile, Kate, Judy, and I took a cable car and short train ride to Murren, a virtually car-less village hugging the mountainside, and then 2 more cable cars up to the Schilthorn peak. From there we could see a spectacular panorama of the Mönch, Eiger, andJungfraupeaks. (The “monk” stands between the “ogre” to protect the “young girl.”)
Kate riding the cable car... At the Schilthorn (scene of James Bond movie... Standing by panorama of the Alps at 9,944 ft elevation!
Later, down below, we all met up and scrounged for lunch – as everything was closed for Sunday. Then, back on the train for Interlaken where we found that our Eurail passes had not arrived after all. Fortunately, we were blessed with understanding conductors and our trip back to Zürich was not a problem.
At our hotel in Zürich, no more than a 10 minute walk from the station, we rested and washed for dinner. We then walked about 15 minutes down Bahnhofstrasse where we met my sister-in-law’s daughter Jane and her husband Chris for dinner. We ate at the Zeughauskeller, a traditional Swiss beer hall with yummy food. Jane and Chris have been living and working in Zurich for about 5 years. We enjoyed visiting with them and getting all of their tips for souvenir shopping for the next morning!
Day 15 – End of the Trip
The last day came and we were all pretty much ready to go home. Our plane was scheduled to leave at 5:30 so we still had time for a bit more fun. We packed and stored our bags at the hotel and had a great breakfast (Hotel Bristol). An amusing hotel worker told us about her own
Fraumünster Church
travel experiences – she just loved getting her money, passport, and credit cards stolen in Rome! Why? Because the Italian policemen are so cute!!?? I think that’s called sweet lemons. Anyway, after breakfast, we set out on a small tour of Zurich and got in some last minute shopping.
We stopped by the Fraumünster church and enjoyed the stained glass designed by Marc Chagall not to some of the original wall paintings and other stained glass work.
We had our best-good-deal-lunch at the cafeteria of the Manor department store on the 5th floor. There was a beautiful assortment of fresh food. And, of course, to end our Gelato Tour of Europe, we had a “Swiss Choco” cone – best yet!
Kate stopped at the Apple Store in Zürich, looking for a job (he he) while the rest of us stocked up on chocolates at the Coop to take home.
It was a mad dash back to the hotel to grab our bags and head over to the train station. We made the exact train I had scheduled and ten minutes later we were at the airport. The European transportation system is so efficient and easy to use!
After an 8 hour flight we were all happy to land, safe and sound. My wonderful nieces -Judy, Shary, and Wendy- went right to bed and were up at 5 am for their drive back to Moncton NB Canada on Tuesday. I miss them!
All in all, the many hours of careful planning paid off. It was a great trip to Europe.
After an early breakfast, we hurried to the train station to catch the first connection on our way to Venice – glorious Venice!! This is what it was like:
DEP Monterosso 9:03 …. ARR Viareggio 10:00
DEP Viareggio 10:11 …. ARR Prato 11:28
DEP Prato 11:45 …. ARR Bologna 12:43
DEP Bologna 12:56 …. ARR Venezia 14:49
From the train station, it was just a short walk to the vaparetto (water bus) and a ride down the Grand Canal. What a wonderful introduction to this unique city. Many repairs and renovations have been made since my last visit, but the city is still in a state of “elegant decay”!
We got out at St Mark’s Square, and then walked a short distance to Hotel Riva. This is a great place (I had stayed here on a previous visit and the staff is even nicer now.) Hotel Riva is situated where two canals meet and on the gondola serenade route. From our guest rooms, we were able to enjoy the views overlooking the canal and the music of the serenaders.
We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering, looking for a good spot for dinner. Then while eating, we met a man who grew up in Wenham – a town next to ours in Massachusetts. What a small world! Next we continued our Gelato Tasting Tour of Europe (our excuse for getting ice cream again!). After wandering a bit – Venice is magical at night – we managed to find our way back to the hotel for the night.
Day 11 – Discovering the Sites of Venice
SWERJK posing in front of the Doges' Palace and in our gondola. This was our friendly gondolier.
We began the day by touring the Doges’ Palace. For 400 years, Venice had been the most powerful of the city-states in Europe and the Doge was the selected leader of the state. The palace today has many treasures including the largest oil painting in the world, Paradise, by Tintoretto. We walked over the Bridge of Sighs to tour the prison – from which we all escaped unharmed.
Murano: Glass blower at work
We then took a vaporetto to the famous fruit, vegetable, and fish market where we purchased some fruit for lunch and the next day’s train trip. Also for lunch, we had the best hot pizza type sandwich, and although we had to eat it standing up, it was delish!
For the afternoon adventure, we took the vaporetto to the island of Murano to see a glass-blowing exhibition, to tour the glass museum there, and to check out the countless shops filled with hand blown glass objects of every type imaginable. Snacking again – great peach iced tea and of course – gelatto!
Back in the city, we were not happy with our dinner choice as we felt hoodwinked by a chef standing in front of the establishment spouting “the good deals.” It turned out to be way too much money with a staff hovering over us. Still, it was a lovely spot, in a garden under a grape trellis. But all was not lost! The largest and cheapest gelato cones were just around the corner!
We wandered about eyeing the gondoliers. After some discussion, we were able to convince one gondolier that a better price for us was better than just standing around! And it worked out great – he was wonderful, amusing, and adjusted his ride to our requests – we stayed on the smaller canals and he took us past Vivaldi’s home which is now a music school! Later, not content with just that water experience, we decided to hop on the vaporetto and cruise the Grand Canal at night. It was beautiful. We finally took our tired bodies back to Hotel Riva and enjoyed our last night overlooking the canals.
Day 12 – To the Foot of the Alps
Our twelfth day dawned with a light sprinkle, the first of our trip. But we were prepared as we made our way to the train station, via the vaporetto. We thought that Venice was even more enchanting in the mist.
When you look up in Venice, you might see: Amazing rooflines, the moon between narrow walkways, a misty morning.
It was to be an all day train ride toward the mountains, via Milano. The Milano station is huge! with pay (1€) bathrooms but extremely clean. Not what I remember 39 years ago! We grabbed some lunch at the station and changed trains for Tirano, a very small town on the Italo-Swiss border.
With the sun shining, the views along the shore of Lake Como were stunning.
In Tirano, the air was refreshing as we walked around looking for a nice place for dinner. Some of us settled on the restaurant at our hotel where we had a yummy and filling meal at a good price.
—> Feel free to ask Ruth Goutal your questions about planning your trip or about her trips to Europe.
It always made me laugh. He was just so darned blunt. About as opposite to Carl Rogers in technique as you can get!
How do we know it’s Christmas season? The tree is up in the living room (since November 30). The outdoor lights are shining on our bushes.
After our next 6 minute ride to Samedan, I jumped off and ran to the stationmaster’s office to explain my problems, while the rest of the girls waited trackside for our next train. He got on the phone right away to try to locate my envelope, but our next train arrived within minutes. He instructed me to run and board the train and explain the problem to the Train Chief. As I got to the train, the girls had already been explaining our predicament. After listening, he invited us to wait in a 2nd class car while he worked on the problem. A short time later he returned to say that our envelope had been found on the other train, and that he would now escort us to our seats on the Glacier Express! In addition, Swiss Rail would try to have our papers for us at the Interlaken station for us to pick up on Sunday. Martin, the Train Chief, was my new best friend!
